So what the hell is going on, Labour are slumping in the polls and yet those most naturally in their shadow able to take their place (the Lib Dems) are failing to capitalise in the polls. And even though the Tories are enjoying high times so much they must think it's the 80's all over again (in more ways than one) they have failed to deliver one serious or credible attack against the government that would show them to be the true heir's to the throne. So to speak. Anyway, on with this weeks Politalks. NSFW as usual, transcript can be found if you go through to read more!

It was David versus Goliath in the Palace of Westminster as Frank Field stared down the almighty cyclops Gordon Brown in a battle royale over the 10p tax rate abolition. Okay, at 65, David could have done with a couple of hundred hours in the gym and about forty fewer years of chronological development, but damn it don't destroy by metaphor.

With sling and stones in hand it took just one well-aimed shot (and 44 other Labour MPs) to bring down the Philistine and give him a clunking fisting. Talking of overweight burdens on the taxpayer, it's almost too easy to mock former Deputy Prime Minister and danger to shipping John Prescott for revealing his fight with bulimia... but someone's got to do it, so here goes. I could not be more disgusted that after claiming £4,000 of taxpayers' money for food, Prescott didn't even have the good grace to keep the battenbergs and black pudding down.

Discovering John Prescott is bulimic is like finding out pigs can fly, the Pope is Jewish and the Daily Mail isn't racist all rolled into one globulous whole. If the current rate of statistically improbable revelations continue their rend, we could have time travel by Wednesday morning and faster-than-light spaceships at teatime.

For once the workshy layabouts at my local comprehensive weren't the pupils but the teachers as last Thursday they came out on strike asking for a pay rise. As anyone witness to Brown's ten year as Chancellor will be aware, he's tighter than Ann Widdecombe's nether regions and their chances of success are roughly on par with Brian Paddick becoming Mayor of London. And to all those parents moaning that their precious little ones are missing school, it's a single fucking day, disconnect the Sky Plus box and put them in front of a good book.

The most shocking thing in this week of dramatic political escapades is that the Tories have completely failed to capitalise on Brown's commitment to dragging Labour back to the 80's. In a feeling quite reminiscent of watching yet another fucking episode of Friends on E4, the worst Cameron could throw at the one eyed monster was...

The Labour peer, Lord Desai, said that the Prime Minister's leadership style is like porridge. Another week like this and it will be Cheerios.

*canned laughter*

The fact is that in a week of teacher strikes, government U-turns, petrol shortages, Parliamentary rebellions and damnation of the Labour-instituted London Assembly the Tories have been left looking as impotent as Russell Brand in a lesbian nightclub. Their inability to land a knockout blow on the Labour government isn't exactly the most powerful message for a potential government party to be sending out.