Here is the most recent Politalks, let us know what you think. NSFW as usual, and transcript when you read more below!

Jacqui Smith and her knee-covering breasts were out in force last week, arguing that police should be given the power to detain terrorist suspects for 42 days. She said that the UK terrorist threat is "severe" and "growing". Except the figures she gave in support of this - MI5 are monitoring 2,000 individuals across 200 networks involved in 30 active plots - are up to 18 months old. So the terrorist threat is actually static. Not static as in the electric shock Jacqui Smith receives when her nipples drag along nylon carpet, but static as in unmoving, like Berlusconi's surgically enhanced and botoxed paralysed face.

To stop the police from needlessly exercising this draconian power, Parliament will have to approve the extension within 30 days. Except, Parliament only really sits for 4 days a week and is on recess for about a third of the year, so there's a good chance that by the time they approve or disapprove, the extra 14 days would have passed, making fuck-all difference to the poor souls left at the whim of the police.

Jacqui Smith stayed in the headlines throughout the week, announcing 300 new terror police, or counter-terror police, fuck it, what's the difference. The Tories accused her of breaking the purdah rules. The term originally described the requirement for women to cover their bodies and conceal their form, so anyone who has been knocked out by the Home Secretary's pneumatic breasts will be fully aware, she takes a liberal view on covering up.

Gordon Brown found himself overshadowed by former Nazi and head of a paedophilic organisation, the Pope, who happened to be visiting the US at the same time. The Prime Minister promptly seized the initiative grabbing the headlines with a four hour speech on his foreign policy objectives, killing 38 delegates when their brains spontaneously haemorrhaged in self-defence.

Frustrated by the lack of attention that he achieves outside of looking positively creepy on American Idol, Brown is also reported to have blown up at journalists for misreporting the issues about the 10p tax rate abolition. Apparently this great nation doesn't know how bloody lucky we are to be living under such a generous government. And he's right, the one eyed wonder himself generously forced employers to pay us more money as a minimum wage, generously given pensioners just enough winter fuel money to not make a shit of difference, and has generously given free fruit to our 4 to 6 year olds.

What a glorious leader we live under, and we mere mortals question his bountiful kindness as we're taxed more for pretty much any non-essential goods, detained without charge for longer than any other developed country in the world, and forced to pay for the privilege of being relentlessly tracked through ubiquitous CCTV and the "unhackable" ID card project. What poor sinful fools we all are.