The latest Politalks is here, remember that episode 7 and 8 will also be posted on a Tuesday due to other commitments. This week we've seen childish politics reach new highs and more than just a little bit of borrowing from others to try and get ahead in the polls. Also, more weighty content with a scathing analysis of the ever ongoing Israeli-Palestine conflict.Not work safe with transcript below.

Tie me down and force me to watch Banged Up with Blunkett if this is too cliched, but as the weeks pass the House of Commons increasingly resembles a primary school playground at lunchtime. This week, Ed Davey, toddler in charge of Lib Dem foreign policy, didn't get his way with Daddy Speaker, threw a monster wobbly and was ordered back to his room without supper. The rest of the Liberal Democrats, wetting themselves with self-righteous glee and sniffing an opportunity to appear on the next days front pages, then flounced out with him, leaving the grown-ups to talk. The Speaker too was being a bit childish, refusing to give a reason and using his privileged position to dick wave at Clegg during PMQs.

The Conservatives have launched a new ad campaign in several newspapers and online. In the Daily Mail, there's an ad on immigration, in the Independent there's an ad on the environment - hang on, different policies depending on which audience you're talking to, that sounds familiar. Yes, that's right, after years of shit slinging the Lib Dems for doing it, the Tories have suddenly realised just how effective the technique is and have donned the yellow cape of political campaigning.

However, being Conservatives, they've got it ever so slightly wrong. For example, a party whose MPs have a notorious sexual history should not use as their theme song "You can get it when you really want it". Cameron should also be careful in adopting Barack Obama's "change" mantle, as he could easily take it too far, don the boot polish and sing "Mammy". However it does seem that at least one member of the Conservatives, Boris Johnson, can get something right, becoming the front runner in the race for Mayor of London.

Socialists may retch with horror at the prospect of this floppy-haired buffoon ruling over any city, let alone one as arrogant and smug as London, but then they also fail to appreciate that Ken Livingstone's recent actions induce feelings in the average human being more consistent with nausea than governing. Take as just one example the new tax on people that drive high emission vehicles, despite the fact that these people already pay higher tax through increased fuel consumption and road tax. In fact, the whole ethos of the Labour London campaign seems to be straight out of the Gordon Brown playbook. Cyclops himself now wishes to force consumers to give supermarkets more profits by charging for plastic carrier bags.

Right on schedule, Israel has decided to launch another military offensive against the former Egyptian enclave of Gaza after Hamas continued their rocket assaults. I prefer not to take sides in this conflict, mostly because I'm not Jewish or Muslim, but I would like to say this to the parties. You're both wrong.

Israel: Stop claiming you're threatened by a couple of dozen rockets that 99% of the time land in the middle of a field. If you're really so precious to think that this is a serious threat to your survival that justifies torture, targeted killings and a giant fucking wall through someone else's land, you don't deserve to belong to the community of nations.

Palestine: Stop firing rockets at Israel. Stop asking for the right of return for refugees, it was sixty years ago and you know it's never going to happen. Both of you should sit down and work out a solution. In fact, guess what, someone has already done this for you - it's called the 2003 Geneva Accord and is probably the most sensible settlement proposal ever made. Put the guns down and read it.

Before I go, I've got some words for two other observers of this conflict. First,. the US: Stop calling for peace whilst providing Israel with £1.5 billion of military aid every year. We can see the hypocrisy, why can't you? And finally, to all you lefties that treat Israel as your worst enemy whilst simultaneously lauding the achievements of brutal dictator Fidel Castro, grow the fuck up. It's the only functioning democracy in the Middle East and at the very least deserves your respect you sanctimonious, self-righteous shits.