Well this is a little later than usual given I had to rebuild my news on the site from backups, but it is here...unfortunately Gavin was too busy to provide a hand with this one so you'll have to do with my voice, which I've decided is slightly camper when digitalised than my counterpart! It's not work safe and due to the time I've not got links at the end like last week...transcript can be found when clicking "Continue Article..."

This week has all been about government embarrassments. The top embarrassment is very clearly that they have been forced to nationalise Northern Rock despite being so adamant that it wasn't the best option for so long.

This has unnerving echo's of the 1970's but handled with a distinctly 21st century Labour twist. New Year 2008 in background? Unlike other government owned and funded businesses, the Rock was claimed by the prime minister to be exempt from prying eyes under Freedom of information legislation and there is controversy over the most profitable part not being nationalised to offset the HUGE burden being shouldered by the taxpayer.

All in all it may be the case that this isn't so much about nationalising and saving a bank, but about finding a new and innovative way to find your personal details before playing Frisbee with the data backups, assuming that they don't forget to pick them up from the desk on the way to the park. But let us be clear that it was twinkle toes Vince Cable who has come up smelling of roses on this issue since it was he weeks ago that predicted this outcome, and one has to imagine that Brown should really be eating humble pie over his attacks during PMQs on the Lib Dems economic policy.

But hang on a second, let's rewind and think about predicting the future. Just how would society be if the police were able to predict who was going to kill, how much of a risk those people were to others right now, and were able to act on this information? No, this isn't the plot of Minority Report, but instead a potential system devised by the home office that calls for spending £20 million pounds on a new thought crime initiative.

Whether or not this will ever become a reality is yet to be seen given the woman and her department manage a policy announcement at least once a day and given the frequent dubious, entertaining and sometimes pointless content of these press releases the question has to be asked…just how many monkeys do the home office employ to type random shit all day?

Embarrassment number two, if you ignore the walking blush inducer that is Jacqui Smith, was David Milliband admitting that the United kingdom has been used in America's extraordinary rendition program. Where in the UK? Diego Garcia. Where is that? Well I'm here to tell you that you really shouldn't give a fuck. No, seriously, while it is very amusing and saddening that the American's have essentially been playing a game of “oh look, over there!”, this island is essentially one large US military base and making a big deal about this issue without making a fuss about how we forced the native residents to move to Mauritius just shows you up to be a hypocrite. Perhaps a liberal, peace loving, fairweather hypocrite, but a hypocrite none the less.

Embarrassment number three is just how little Labour have in the way of modesty by publishing a list of their top 50 achievements since 1997. Despite at least a fifth of the list being plain and utter bollocks or nothing to call an achievement it would only be fair of me to say that it does indeed highlight a fair amount of good that Labour has done in the past.

Here are other things that were somewhat successful and popular in the past: Blackburn Rovers, the England cricket team, shell suits, cassette tapes and the Roman Empire. The lesson here, if Labour ever wishes to learn it, is that looking forward at what is coming might be a bit more sensible than spending your time stuck in the past. The question remains though, how much can we trust a government that currently believes it's a top 50 achievement to offer free fruit to 4 to 6 year olds?

But let's not think Labour are the only ones coyly looking at their shoes. British Gas were left trying to explain how increased energy costs that have forced prices to their highest ever levels have also managed to increase their profits by over 500%. Labour and Lib Dem MEPs were also found to have used democracy to its fullest and darkest by voting in Brussels that the result of an Irish referendum on the EU treaty should be ignored. Most embarrassing of all outside the labour camp, the Conservatives released an ill worded statement that appeared to call Labours efforts to fund trips to Auschwitz a gimmick.

We can only assume heads will be rolling in the press office at Tory HQ, something that shouldn't come as much of a surprise given how fervently conservative supporters embrace recently resurfaced suggestions of the death penalty and a penchant for vengeance ahead of justice. This is of course unless you talk about Sharia in law which extols vengeance based punishment, in which case the Tory racist gene takes precedent over the fundamentalist gene in the forming of outrageous offensive opinion of the day. Luckily for us we need not worry too long, as Jacqui Smiths thought police will soon be putting these types in to stasis before they have the chance to ask daddy to let down the security gate to the manor while writing a letter of recommendation to Tory HQ and then become an MP.